I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
— Lemony Snicket (via quoteallthethings)
If I was an apple pie and you were a cherry pie and we were watching a sunset together while travelling at seventy miles-per-hour in an SUV that smells like feet, then what is your bra size? from countryfail
AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD, ALYSON.
An Irish Airman Foresees His Death - Simon Monroe from In the Flesh